Cortex's Holiday
by crimson-knight87
Summary: After many years of being foiled by Crash Bandicoot, Cortex gets the holiday he deserves. Though things dont go well while he's away. This is my first fic, so bear with me. Rated PG for some mild swearing.
1. The Break

Disclaimer: Just so everyone knows, I do not own anthing to do with Crash Bandicoot. My first fic is just something I came up with one morning and decided to put onto this site. There will be many more stories from me to come, but for now, enjoy my first story.

Chapter 1 - The Break

"Ooohhhh, I've had just about all I can take from that infernal bandicoot, why can't I just have a break for once!" sighed Doctor Neo Cortex, after being foiled, once again, by Crash Bandicoot. "I am surrounded by the most incompetent creations I ever.......created!" Cortex glares evilly at all of his cronies standing before him.

"Aaaww, give us a break boss, we've tried our hardest," N.Gin utters timidly.

"WELL YOUR BEST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.....owwww, my head, bring me my ice pack Tiny, that's an order!"

"Yes boss."

As Tiny exits the room to fetch cortex his ice pack, Uka Uka appears on the huge screen dominating the room.

"CORRRRTEEEEEEX, WHY HAVEN'T YOU CAPTURED THAT BANDICOOT YET!" Uka Uka was obviously not pleased with Cortex's pitiful efforts so far.

"Owwww, please, not so loud, my head can't take much more."

"THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, I WANTED THAT BANDICOOT CAPTURED BY NOW AND HE STILL ISN'T!"

"Please master Uka Uka, I have tried my hardest......"

"Look who's talking now." N.Gin butts in sarcastically.

"Quiet N.Gin!" Cortex clears his throat. "As I was saying master Uka Uka, all I am asking is for a break from all of this, I need some time to relax, that way I can think of more evil and maniacal ways of capturing that bandicoot."

"Hmmmm, well, I suppose you HAVE been working hard enough over these years," Uka Uka ponders the situation before saying the words Cortex had been waiting to hear, "Ok Cortex, you can have a break." Cortex was just about to thank his master, when Uka Uka declared, "but only for one week."

"WHAT," Cortex was outraged, "but master Uka Uka, that's not nearly enough......."

"ONE WEEK, AND THAT IS FINAL, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT." Uka Uka was starting to get impatient. Cortex gulped, knowing he should have kept his mouth shut. "Yes master Uka Uka, one week will be fine."

"But cortex, I have one small question."

"What would that be master Uka Uka?" Cortex was now starting to get a bit uneasy.

"Who exactly is going to look after the base after your gone?"

Seeing as he was so caught up with trying to get a break, Cortex had completely forgotten about putting someone in charge of the base.

"Errrrr, I think Tiny should be in charge," he splurted out without thinking.

"WHAT!" Everyone let's out a roar of disapproval.

"But sir, Tiny can't even remember his own name, let alone run a base," N.Tropy pleads. Just that second, Tiny walk back into the room with Cortex's ice pack. "Oh, Tiny, I didn't see you come back, we were just talking about you," N.Tropy chuckles nervously.

"Tiny brought ice pack." Tiny hands the ice pack to Cortex's swollen head.

"Thank you Tiny," Cortex places the ice pack on his head, "now where was I, errr, ok, N.Gin, you can run the base, but N.Tropy will keep an eye on you, just in case. Dingodile, your in charge of maintenence. N.Trance, your in charge of communications, and Tiny, you can wash the dishes."

"Yay, Tiny like dishes," Tiny grunts delightfully.

"Ok Cortex, it seems you have everything sorted out, you may leave for your break, now if you don't mind, I am late for my daily wood shave as it is." And with that, Uka Uka disappears from the screen. After a long silence, Cortex let's out a cry of glee. "YES, at last, my first break in......well, ever. Now guys, please don't screw around while I'm gone, I want you to be hard at work as soon as I leave, now if everybody's satisfied, I shall see you suckers later." Cortex rushes to his room to start packing, leaving everyone else standing in the control room. Another silence ensues."So, who wants to watch T.V?" Dingodile questions.


	2. The First Day

Chapter 2 - The First Day

Two hours have passed since Cortex boarded his flight to the remote island of Chunga Wunga, and already his henchmen are relaxing with his departure.

"Aaahhhh, this is the life," Dingodile says with a sigh of happiness as he cracks open his fourth can of Fosters and sits down to watch Neighbours.

"Hey you, no slacking," N.Gin declares with authority, "there's work to be done. Remember what the boss said, we have to begin work immediately."

"Awww, give me a break mate, I reckon being the boss is starting to make you doo-lally. For once we can do what we want now old lightbulb head has gone. Don't you wanna relax for once?"

"Well, I suppose a couple of hours won't hurt. But after that it's straight back to work for me, I don't want to disappoint the boss." N.Gin hurries to the kitchen to fetch some peanuts and beer for himself and Dingodile. Meanwhile, N.Tropy and Tiny were playing chess, with disasterous results.

"Aha, Bishop to king 5, check," N.Tropy sounds triumphantly, "get out of that one if you can!"

Unfortunately for Tiny, his pea shaped brain couldn't cope with the strain of too much thinking, so he ate most of the pieces. He was now only left with the king and a pawn on the board, while N.Tropy still had all his pieces. Tiny was actually in checkmate 15 times beforehand, but N.Tropy was being nice by not saying it, he knows what those two huge orange fists can do to one's face.

"Tiny moves prawn up to king, checky-mate, I WIN!" Tiny jumps with joy, shaking the whole of the room.

"But Tiny, pawns can't make that mo......" N.tropy stops himself short of the beating of a lifetime, "I mean err, well done Tiny, I guess the better person won." N.Tropy REALLY hated having to say that, he could outsmart that molecule-minded gimboid anyday.

"Tiny play again, Tiny play again!"

"No thanks Tiny, one loss is enough for me," N.Tropy turns to go, but the almighty roar behind him stops him from proceeding any further.

"TINY PLAY AGAIN!"

N.Tropy sighs heavily. "This is going to be a long day for me!"

While everyone was busy enjoying themselves, N.Trance was all by himself, creating plans for the next deadly weapon to destroy Crash, on the bosses behalf.

"Hee hee, this weapon will be the GREATEST invention of all time, it will be practically fool-proof, even that dimwit Tiny could operate it, and that's saying something," he chuckles to himself. In the small room that N.Trance worked lay hundreds of charts and graphs for projects that Cortex never finished, like the heat-seeking bandicoot-trap, which was like a mousetrap, only bandicoot sized. Unfortunately for N.Gin in testing, the trap homed into the nearest heat source, the rocket on his head. He spent the next three months in the burns department and a further two weeks in the welding area to re-attatch the rocket to his head. Then there were further failures, such as the Wumpa Thumper, which caused a lot of bruised heads, the self-running shoes, which were last seen in Tahiti as they got bored quickly, and the humongo-giganto-giga cannon, which proved to be 1/1000th of the size the plan showed. But N.Trance was very confident in this latest invention, he was sure the boss would win this time, or he would be turned into and omelette the next day. At last, his plans were complete, now to set them into motion........

"N.Trance, get your butt down here, 101 Ways to Cook With Eggs is on," Dingodile yells.

"Excellent, my favourite programme, I'll be right down!" N.Trance packs the plans neatly away in the nearest drawer and rushes down to the control room.


	3. A Checkup On Cortex

Chaoter 3 - A Check-up on Cortex

Meanwhile, on the distant island of Chunga Wunga, Doctor Neo Cortex was enjoying every second of his holiday. He had already been to the local spa, where a Tibetan body mask, sensual massage oils and scantily clad women waited for him, now he was soaking up the rays on the beach, drinking coconut milk and reading Evil Scientist Weekly. "Now this is what I call heaven," he said blissfully, "no more hassle from that annoying bandicoot, no more annoyances and definitely no more interruptions." Just that moment, the peaceful silence was broken with the sound of Cortex's mobile blurting out the familiar beats of the Village People. "Oh, who can that be," Cortex groaned, "can't they see I'm trying to relax here! Hello?"

"Hello boss, it's me, N.Trance."

"What do you want you egg-shaped twit, I specifically said to only call me if it was something important!" He was extremely pissed off with someone spoiling his tan time.

"This IS important boss, I've finished the plans for your latest weapon."

"Excellent news N.Trance, may I ask what it is called?"

"The Crashinator, it is the ultimate in fighting robots, capable of demolishing an entire skyscraper in a matter of seconds, and it can also make a wicked chip butty." Cortex was now very excited on the prospect of being rid of that bandicoot once and for all, plus, he could have chip butty's whenever he liked, which was an added bonus.

"So, have you begun the process of building it?"

"Ummm, not quite, you see, the others are too lazy to get off their arses and do anything, I am the only one doing ANY work around here, it's rather bothersome."

"Well, why don't you do something about it? put those brainwashing contraptions to good use for once." N.Trance didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before, he could simply brainwash the lot of them and get them to do the work for him, while he spent the rest of the week with his feet up.

"A superb idea, I'm glad I have you as my boss."

"Naturally," Cortex gloated, "aren't I just the smartest, wittiest, most handsome guy you've ever met?"

"I wouldn't take it that far boss, all I said was it was a great idea."

"Oh, well, ok, just don't call me again unless it is very urgent. I have to go now, my slave, I mean, helper has arrived to rub me down, bye for now." Cortex quickly ends the conversation and turns off the phone. "everything will be ok, just don't worry about anything," Cortex thought to himself as his feet were being rubbed with oil.

"After I am finished rubbing you down, I shall escort you to your personal hot tub, I hope this is to your satisfaction?" The helper questioned.

"Oh yes, that is absolutely perfect," Cortex groaned, "oh, and while your at it, carry my cases to my hotel room for me would you?" The helper gazed miserably at the 12 suitcases full to the brim with gadgets, gizmos and objects that Cortex took along for his pleasure. "yes sir, as you wish," he said with the grimmest face you would ever lay eyes on.


	4. The Plan

Chapter 4 - The Plan

It was now the middle of the week, and Cortex's base was already beginning to look like a bomb had detonated within it. Wires were hanging from the ceiling, empty beer cans were strewn across the floor and the dishes were piled a mile high, even N.Gin, the supposed boss for the week, was not putting in his fair share of the work, he would rather spend time polishing his equipment than checking that everything is working at a hundred percent condition.

After a hectic day of boozing, T.V and games, everyone decided to call it a night, and headed to their beds.

It was now the middle of the night, and everyone was fast asleep, everyone that is, apart from a lone, egg-shaped object in the corner of the room. Now was the time for N.Trance to place the brainwashing devices on his fellow cronies. Slowly, he edged forward, moving towards the bed closest to himself, Tiny's. Being careful not to make a single sound, N.Trance steadily reaches over to place the device onto Tiny's head.

All of a sudden, Tiny let's out an almighty roar. The sudden outburst from Tiny startled N.Trance, almost to the point that he dropped the device. Fortunately for N.Trance and his quick reflexes, this did not happen, or his plans would have been foiled there and then. Once again, he reaches over, and successfully places the device onto Tiny's head. One down, three to go.

Unfortunately for N.Trance, the next victim along the rows of beds was N.Tropy. He wasn't exactly going to be the easiest person to put the device on, not the least because of the huge helmet he constantly weared, but because of all the junk scattered around his bed. Old clocks, stopwatches, tuning forks and magnets of all shapes and sizes could be seen around N.Tropy's sleeping area, N.Trance would have to be very cautious not to knock anything over, or it would spell disaster.

Little did N.Trance know, but across the other side of the room, Dingodile was watching these events unfurl before his eyes.

"I knew I could smell a rotten egg," he mutters under his breath, "you wont be getting away with this you little blighter."

Slowly but surely, Dingodile slips out of his bed, flame thrower in hand, and begins to move towards N.Trance.

Supposedly oblivious to Dingodiles movements, N.Trance continues to place the brainwashing device onto N.Tropy's head.

"Soon, everyone shall be under my command, then the Crashinator shall be finished in no time," N.Trance chuckles to himself, "I can't wait to see that big oaf Tiny doing my every bidding, N.Tropy bowing to my every wish, and that imbecile Dingodile doing exactly what I say!"

At that moment, N.Trance heard the familiar sound of a flame thrower heating up behind his head.

"I do believe I heard my name just then sunshine, would you care to tell me what your doing?" Dingodile asked menacingly.

"Oh, Dingodile, it's you," N.Trance replies in a nervous voice "Yes, I was just saying to myself how well we get along with each other, you know, seeing as we're great pals and all, anyway I was just going to see if anybody wanted to have a midnight snack, that's all."

"With brainwashing devices on our head huh?"

"Oh no no no, these aren't brainwashing devices, these are errr, head warmers. I noticed it was a bit chilly tonight, so I thought I would do everyone a favour and keep their heads warm, that's all I was doing."

Dingodile tried not to laugh at the stupidity of N.Trance's excuses. It was the middle of summer, and the temperature was unbearable. He then noticed something which was even more laughable.

"Errr, N.Trance, you forgot one thing."

"What would that be old buddy, old pal?"

"You forgot to take the labels off the devices."

N.Trance turned to the devices in dismay. There, staring him in the face were the words "BRAINWASHING DEVICE"

"Errr, I can explain that, let me just get something from downstairs."

N.Trance makes a bolt for the door, but Dingodile easily out-maneuvered him and his short legs, blocking the only way out.

"I don't think your going anywhere mate. HEY FELLAS, WAKE UP!"

Everyone wakes up with a start. First they look at each other in shocked disarray, noticing the large, metal objects on each others heads, then all eyes homed in on N.Trance, who gave a little yelp.

"Looks like we have a traitor on our hands here guys," Dingodile declares to the others, "GET HIM!"

"No, no, I can explain, ARRRRGH!" In an instant, everybody pounces on N.Trance, who was quickly hauled downstairs, to face the horrors that may await him.


	5. The Interrogation

Chapter 5 - The Interrogation

N.Trance opened his eyes, (still slightly dizzy after that hit on the head by the mallet Tiny found,) to find four pairs of eyes staring back at him.

"Well, looks like the scallywag is awake at last," N.Tropy noticed with an unimpressed tone, "thank god you weren't clever enough to turn those stupid devices on, or me and Tiny would be gibbering idiots by now, not that Tiny isn't that already!"

"Right then you egg shaped git, you'd better speak sharpish or we'll be hard boiling you and eating you for breakfast!"

At the sound of Dingodile's threat, N.Trance tried to escape, but his arms and legs were strapped down tight with thick leather straps to a large steel table. As he surveyed the scene, he saw many of Cortex's most evil and twisted instruments and creations scattered around the room, ready and waiting for use. A solitary bright light shone down onto his face, it was almost like an interrogation was underway, or worse, a torture sequence.

"There's nothing for me to say, there's been a big misunderstanding."

Even though N.Trance knew that what he had done was for the bosses benefit, he still had a nervous edge about him, who knows what they were going to do to him.

"Your damn right there's been a misunderstanding, we thought you were part of our group, but looks like your working for someone else all along," N.Tropy's words were cold and menacing, his breath could be felt on the back of N.Trance's neck.

"You've got it all wrong, I was told by the boss to put the devices on your head, that way, his latest creation would be finished faster, seeing as you'd rather sit on your arses all day instead of working!" the impatience in N.Trance's voice was beginning to show, he couldn't believe how thick these guys were.

"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH!" N.Tropy bellowed, "N.Gin, the pan, now!"

N.Gin walked over to a large cabinet and opened the top drawer. From within it he pulled out the largest frying pan N.Trance had ever seen. Beads of sweat started trickling down his face, they really WERE going to boil him.

"Please, I beg of you," N.Trance pleaded, "that is the truth, you must believe me!"

"We may believe you after we're done eating you," N.Gin let's out an evil chuckle.

N.Gin then proceeded to place the pan onto a huge gas cooker and turned it on, he then started filling the pan with water and was then left to boil.

"Now then, are you going to tell us the truth or not?" N.Gin questioned.

"I've told you the truth already you bloody fools, let me go this instant!"

"I think I've heard just about all I can take from you, Tiny, would you like to do the honors?"

"Tiny CRUSH puny egg," and with that, Tiny grabs hold of N.Trance and rips him from the table, straps and all, and begins to carry him to the now boiling water.

"No, stop, please!" No matter how hard N.Trance begged, Tiny wasn't about to let his vice-like grip go of him. N.Trance was now dangling inches away from certain death, he could feel the heat rising from the pan.

"Time to boil mate," Dingodile said with a wide smirk on his face, "Tiny, drop him!"

"No, NOOOOOOOO!"

Tiny was just about to drop N.Trance into the pan when.......

RIIIING RIIIING!

"Bloody hell, who could that be!" Dingodile was very disappointed having to put the boiling on hold, but someone had to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Dingodile, it's you!" Cortex's voice blared from the reciever, "I thought you'd have been brainwashed by now, seeing as I told N.Trance to do so."

Those words sunk to the bottom of Dingodile's heart, a lump began to form in his throat.

"Could I possibly speak to N.Trance then, or are you just going to not speak and make me look like a prat?"

"Well err, you see boss, we're just in the process of errrr, that is we were just about to....."

"Spit it out already for god's sake!"

"We were just about to boil him," Dingodile then waited for the torrent of insults to come, and sure enough, they came.

"WHAT!" Cortex couldn't believe what he had just heard, "YOU STUPID IDIOTS, LET HIM GO THIS INSTANT!"

"Tiny, drop N.Trance now, do as the boss says."

Tiny did as he was told and lowered N.Trance safely away from the pan. N.Trance glared at Tiny, and Tiny gave a sorry look back.

"I cannot believe the stupidity of you simpletons sometimes, now you listen to me carefully, I want you and everyone else to obey N.Trance's orders from now on, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes boss, sorry boss," Dingodile felt extremely guilty.

"I don't know how I cope sometimes, anyway, I'm off to get massaged now, when I arrive back in two days I want that Crashinator finished and up and running, goodbye!"

The next sound Dingodile heard was the phone being slammed down on the other end. Dingodile turned sheepishly to N.Trance, who looked extremely pissed off.

"I think we all owe you an apology mate, we judged you wrong, you were only following the bosses orders after all."

"Well, I suppose I could accept your apologies, although you were just about to boil me alive."

"We now have to follow your orders exactly," Dingodile muttered, "so what do you want us to do, we'll do anything."

"Well what do you think I want you to do, get to work on the Crashinator, this instant!"

And with that, everyone bolted for the creation room, apart from N.Trance, who, after having just survived being boiled alive, was knackered. He slung himself into the nearest armchair and fell asleep immediately, he knew tomorrow would be another busy day.


	6. The Crashinator

Chapter 6 - the Crashinator

"Come on, put your backs into it, slackers!" N.Trance ordered as he gazed at the sight in front of him.

Tiny, N.Tropy, N.Gin and Dingodile had been working through the night constructing the Crashinator, ready for Cortex's return tomorrow. Tiny was working on the head, N.Tropy the arms, N.Gin the legs and Dingodile concentrated on the body, so far, progress was good, although N.Trance wasn't happy with some of the areas.

"No no NO, you've got it all wrong N.Tropy, the arms were supposed to have rockets attatched to them, not sockets! We're not making a plug adapter here, it's supposed to be the ultimate weapon, take them out and start again!"

N.Tropy sighed deeply, "Yes N.Trance, right away."

N.Trance walked over to Dingodile, not knowing what to expect.

"Aaahhh, very good Dingodile, I see the body is coming along perfectly."

"Too right it is, your looking at the best mechanic around mate," Dingodile said with a smirk on his face. He patted the side of the body proudly. As soon as he did so, the whole body creaked and groaned and finally gave way in a torrent of metal.

"What did you use to put the panels together?" N.Trance asked curiously.

"Sticky tape, it was the only thing I could find."

"YOU IMBECILE, your supposed to use screws and bolts to put things together, not crappy sticky tape. There's some in the tool box, use them!"

Dingodile also sighed deeply, "Yes N.Trance."

N.Trance walked over to where Tiny was working to find a most horrible sight.

"Tiny, what are you DOING!"

Tiny HAD finished making the head, unfortunately, instead of fangs and laser eyes, there was a happy, smiling face with almost cartoon-like eyes gazing at N.Trance. Tiny was busy putting a bow on top of the head.

"Tiny like bow, Tiny make head look pretty."

"Tiny, this is supposed to be a menacing creation, it's supposed to make Crash crap his pants in fear, and a bow is not going to make Crash crap his pants in fear!"

"But Tiny like bow!" Tiny was extremely upset about N.Trance's remark, he was only trying to make the creation look nice.

"I don't care if you like it or not, take that awful thing off NOW, it's making me sick!"

Tiny started crying at the sound of this, which made the others stop what they were doing and come over to him to offer some comfort.

"Now look what you have done, you've made Tiny cry, how could you!" N.Gin said with some sympathy.

N.Trance started to feel really guilty and embarrased, he could feel his cheeks turning red.

"Gee, I'm sorry Tiny, it's just that I really wanted everything to work out so that the boss would be impressed with us all when he returns tomorrow, but if you want to put the bow on Tiny, you can put it on, I won't stop you."

Tiny stopped his crying and started jumping with joy.

"Yay, Tiny like N.Trance, he Tiny's friend!" Tiny then rushed over to N.Trance and gave him a hug.

"Thank you Tiny," N.Trance said, trying to find his breath, "but could you please stop hugging me now, your breaking my shell."

"Sorry," Tiny put N.Trance down.

"Ok everyone, back to work, we have to get this done by tomorrow morning, and I'll chip in as well!"

And with that, everyone returned to their places and continued their work.

Night-time arrived again, and the Crashinator was finally finished, everyone had worked for seventeen straight hours with no break inbetween. Naturally, everyone was knackered.

"My goodness I'm pooped," N.Tropy declared, "but we've finally done it."

Everyone gave a weak cheer, too tired to do even that.

"I would just like to say a few things."

N.Trance stepped onto the nearest platform and started his speech.

"I believe this week has been arduous for us all, without the bosses help, but we all pulled through. I am sure the boss will be pleased with us all when he comes back tomorrow, and when he sees his latest creation standing proudly in front of him, he will most surely congratulate us on our excellent work. I want to thank you all for helping me create the Crashinator, without you it would not have been possible, you are all great buddies, and I'll stand by you a hundred percent of the way, and I'm sure you all will do the same with me."

As N.Trance stepped off the platform, Dingodile shed a tear.

"That was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard."

"Now everyone, get some sleep, for tomorrow, we shall CRUSH CRASH BANDICOOT FOREVER!"

With energy flowing inside their bodies once more, everyone gave out a loud cheer and made their way to their beds.

As N.Trance got into his bed, he had this sick feeling inside him. He didn't know why, but despite everything going well that day, he couldn't shake off the fact that something was going to go wrong tomorrow, something always did go wrong with the bosses plans.

"No, this time it's going to be different, this time WE will win, not that snivelling bandicoot."

With those words still floating in his mind, N.Trance turned off his light and drifted off to sleep.


	7. Cortex's Return

Chapter 7 - Cortex's Return

Cortex's holiday was finally over, and as much as he didn't want to be, he was on the plane back to his base for more plotting, inventing and failings. As he sat in his chair, gazing out into the vast ocean whilst sipping on his red wine, he couldn't help but think that this week had gone by too quickly.

_"Well it's like they always say, there's no place like home," _Cortex thought to himself, trying to cheer himself up.

"More wine sir?" The air hostess questioned.

"I think I'll need it," Cotex replied glumly.

Meanwhile, back at base, everyone was working hard to make the base look as clean as possible. Tiny was furiously cleaning the dishes that were almost touching the ceiling, Dingodile was carefully dusting the entire place, with his trusted pinny on, N.Gin was hoovering up all the stale pieces of pizza left on the floor, N.Tropy was clearing up all the beer cans, of which there were a lot of, thanks to Dingodile, and N.Trance was polishing the Crashinator, ready for Cortex's arrival.

"Crikey, I never realised we could be so down right dirty, I mean, where did this traffic cone come from?" Dingodile held up the traffic cone in question with a curious look on his face.

"That's fine, it's these bleeding ostriches I'm worried about!" N.Tropy exclaimed, pointing to said ostriches.

"Who cares where they came from, just get rid of them!"

Everyone rallied round to gently coax the ostriches out of the front door, one by one. N.Tropy had one of his tuning forks stolen in the process, and Tiny got pecked on the nose, but after ten minutes of chasing and pushing, they were all gone.

"Thank goodness for that, and not one moment too soon, the boss should be coming any minute.........."

N.Tropy's words were cut off with two loud knocks on the door.

".......now!" N.Tropy finished.

"I'm home everyone!" Cortex's words rang out around the base.

"Welcome back boss!" Everyone chanted at the same time.

Cortex entered the room looking fresh and revitalised, he'd even turned a slight shade of orange thanks to the tanning machines. Following close behind was a small scraggly kid carrying all of Cortex's cases.

"Where do you....want......these sir," the kid strained to answer.

"Take them to my room, on the 30th floor."

The kid let out a loud groan, but did as he was told. Cortex gazed around the control room, everything seemed to be as it was when he left, no broken monitors, no mystery stains on the walls, everything seemed fine.

"Well, it looks like you kept this place tidy while I was away, good job everyone, I didn't think you would be up to it."

"Oh, and there's more sir," N.Trance piped up excitedly, "let me show you what we've been working on for you all this time."

N.Trance lead Cortex and the rest of the group outside, where a large blue drape was covering something big. Everyone stood proudly, waiting for the unveiling.

"May I present to you, THE CRASHINATOR!"

N.Trance let the drape fall off, and there was the Crashinator, staring Cortex in the face.

"Well, I don't know what to say, it looks amazing, except for the fact that the head looks like something a 9 year old girl came up with!"

Tiny turned a deep shade of red, but kept quiet nonetheless.

"Well then, shall we turn it on and get rid of that infernal bandicoot from my sights?" Cortex queried.

N.Trance rushed to the start button, eager to get the show on the road.

"Ok everyone, this is the beginning of the end of Crash Bandicoot!" N.Trance declared.

Everyone gave out a cheer as N.Trance pressed the button.

Seconds passed, minutes passed, but all that could be heard was the wind rustling the trees. N.Trance started to get a bit edgy.

"Ummm, maybe i didn't press it hard enough!" N.Trance pressed the button again, and again, but the machine did not utter a single sound of life.

N.Trance then felt a sick feeling come over him and something compelled him to check the battery compartment. He slowly moved towards the back of the machine and lifted up a panel on the back. As he did so, his worst fears became true, no one had supplied the special AAAA batteries for it. N.Trance gave a nervous look round at the others.

"Errr, who's up for some lunch, I'm starving?" N.Trance chuckled half-heartedly.

Cortex's face began to turn purple.

"Don't tell me, I have just come back from my holiday to another failure haven't I?"

Everyone gave a small nod. Cortex finally lost it.

"YOU STUPID, IDIOTIC, MORONIC IMBECILES, I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LEFT YOU IN CHARGE OF THIS PLACE, YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THE SIMPLE TASK OF PUTTING BATTERIES IN A MACHINE!"

At that moment, Uka Uka appeared, having just overheard the conversation, he was infuriated.

"CORRRTEEEX, WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME EVERY BLOODY TIME!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THIS TIME, THESE MORONS ARE TO BLAME!"

Uka Uka and Cortex glared at the group. Dingodile, N.Trance, N.Tropy, Tiny and N.Gin all looked at each other in fear. They then thought of the same idea and ran for it.

"AND JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU LOT ARE GOING!" Cortex yelled.

"ON HOLIDAY!" Everyone shouted back.

THE END


End file.
